Sunday, April 8, 2012

7. Hurrah! Sober on Piranhas!

This poem requires a bit of preliminary spiel, so I've just copied what I've written on my own blog:

I have fallen a day behind! This poem should have been posted here yesterday, but I got waylaid. The poem is an abnominal, a form devised by Andrew Philip. The creation of an abnominal is as fun and exciting as it is surprising and mind-bendingly challenging. In the end, I found it to be an excellent form for a tribute poem (which is what it is, essentially). Without further ado, here are the rules, followed by my poem, written for my partner.

The poem must use only words that contain letters found in the name of the dedicatee.

The poem should be 20 lines long.

It should be arranged in two-line stanzas, although other arrangements are permissible.

Each stanza — or every two lines, if another arrangement is used — should contain each individual letter of the dedicatee’s name at least once.*

The opening and closing line should address or refer to the dedicatee in some form, with a strong preference for not using the name. However, the address in line 20 must not be a simple repetition of that in line 1; there must be some difference/transformation.

There are no stipulations for line length or other metrical constraints.

The title must be an anagaram of the dedicatee’s name.


Hurrah! Sober on Piranhas!

An abnominal for Sarah Harrison-Burnhope

So, is she Le One? Oui! Si!
She has been. Pinup: U R ON

LE BRAIN upon piers’ rails.
Narnian sun, san’, shore,

Lan’-‘rain o’er here. Hop on!
Brap! Shamo(ne) (one's a hen).

Nae pain. Soar in brine-airs,
hon; hear no ruse or harassin’.

Hair raisin-broon; near bulb-
Solar – on a par. Son-bearer,

A plush pair o’ (blush). Sleep
In, an’ – aye – snore sub-bass.

Hail our Ash S. Raise a posh /
Brash session parsin’ real ales,

Nosh; pissin’ oursel’s LOLin’
(Herps, P.R.A.S*, lesbianism).

Sea. Splish-splash-splosh!
Reasons are borin’ bull-sh…

Ass-o’er-heels, I bless her.
Shine on, lassie: urbanhippie.

*Portsmouth Reptile and Amphibian Society


  1. Hi Hydro,
    Lucky for you Sarah has a double-barrel surname eek and LOL!
    Fiendish challenge for the fiendishly cunning!
    I love how you do away with a need for d in sand and use SMS speech and other creative ruses to create a dynamic love tribute to your home Pirhana-on-Sober :-)


  2. oops was gonna add hurrah at the end :-0

  3. Oh flip, I didn't tag this as Hydro. I'll do that now.

    Thanks Sorella. Actually, her name is Harrison but we're getting married soon, and she's double-barelled it in the meantime 'to get used to' having my name. Heh.

  4. Oh, I did! Not sure why I missed that..

  5. You already know I love this. And am freaked out and intrigued. Already collecting words for my life's love - good thing he has a name with all the vowels. And I am soooo going to include his middle name, which gives me the U. And precious little else, actually.

  6. I love the words that show up!! Well done. Both sweet and fun!

  7. This is the best love poem ever. That is all.