Natural as lawyer's fees, subpoenas and divorce decrees,
we compare notes. I say, you know the marriage is gone
when you count his condoms and one's missing.
She says, no, it's when you find one in his wallet
and he says, it's just in case something comes up.
I say, I discovered he was cheating on our tenth anniversary
and gifted him my diaphragm, cut in pieces.
She says, she woke up one night to find him
under the kitchen table jerking off
into another woman's lace panties. You win, I say.
Hers picks up the kids on Fridays and hands over clippings
from advice columns on parenting.
Sometimes I open my garage door
and mine's standing there. I can't decide
if he looks like a beaten dog
or the guy from the Halloween movies
and the hell of it is, I'm not sure there's a difference.