Sunday, April 1, 2012

2. Baby Got Bug

(Original here)

Baby Got Bug

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her web.
It is so big. [scoff] She looks like
one of those orb guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those orb guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total arachnid, 'kay?
I mean, her web is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... crawly!

[Miz Webs-a-Lot]
I like big bugs and I can not fly
I also have a compound eye
When a wasp flies in with an itty bitty waist
And it buzzes in your face
You get stung, wanna pull out the stinger
But you notice my web is sticky
Deep in the silk I'm spinning
You're hooked and I can't stop winning
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And drink your ichor
Your homebees nearly stung me
But those bugs you got make me so hungry
Ooh, Rump-o'-chitin
You say you wanna get in my strands?
Well, feed me, feed me
'Cause you ain't that average beasty
I've seen them buzzin'
To hell with discussin'
They're set, in my net,
Got it goin' like a jumbo jet
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' vegan is the thing
Take the average black widow, ask her that
You gotta slug much bug
So, spiders! (Yeah!) Spiders! (Yeah!)
Has your cobweb got the bug? (Hell yeah!)
Then suck it! (Suck it!) Suck it! (Suck it!)
Suck that healthy bug!
Baby got bug!

(Ab-do-men with the mesothorax)
Baby got bug!

I like 'em fat, well-fed
And when I'm throwin' a thread
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you wrapped
And ugh, eat you up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout pupae
'Cause silkworm threads are made for ties
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy thorax
Webs-a-Lot's wants more, yeah
Swig it like a sip of that Fourex
So I'm lookin' at X-Men comics
Silkworm Bombyx--ugh, no comment
You can have them Bombyx
I use my spinning for combat
A word to my mites and midges, I wanna get with ya
I won't crush or squish ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *drink*
Till I break your sclerites
'Cause you bugs taste all right
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to spin it and bin it
And I'd rather wrap and lap
My silk is long, and strong
And I'm down to get the enzymes on
So, insects! (Yeah!) Insects! (Yeah)
If you wanna roll in my big spinnerets (Yeah!)
Then touch my web! Can't get out!
Even silkworms got to shout
Baby got bug!

Baby got bug!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to insects, Nat Geo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. Bright colors? Ha ha, only if she's a moth.

So your insect is a nymph, she's full of hemolymph
That hemolymph tastes so delicious in the back of your nymph
My rules are simple: don't want none
Unless you've got bugs, luv
You can vacuum, sweep, or mop up
But please don't squish my bugs
Some brothers wanna play it real mean
And tell you that the bug ain't clean
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
Some jerk says squash 'em flat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause their waists are small and their legs are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the stick insects in the magazines:
You are it, Miss Thing!
Give me insecta, I can't reject ya
Pyrethrum will affect ya
Some knucklehead started bitchin'
'Cause my flies are in his kitchen
Had a swatter and he tried to hit 'em
But I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So spiders, if the bug is round,
And you want a spinneret throw down,
Dial 1-900-WEBSALOT
And kick them tasty thoughts
Baby got bug!

(I spin it every minute and I got much bug)

1 comment:

  1. Ha, love those mites and midges. -- Arlene